Bismillah
I used to believe that if I wasn’t excited, I wasn’t ready.
That if I didn’t feel energetic, motivated, driven then it wasn’t the right time to show up.
Whether it was going Live, writing, or even just praying
I thought I had to bring my best self every single time.
But I’ve learned something deeper.
I’m not showing up to impress anyone.
I’m showing up to remember who I am.I need to find my own voice again.
To anchor myself in a truth I keep forgetting.
That walking toward Allah doesn’t always feel like flying.
Sometimes it feels like crawling.
Sometimes, like dragging your feet through the mud.
And sometimes just not walking away is its own kind of strength.
There are days I want to give up.
And I don’t mean giving up on a project.
I mean giving up on myself.
It’s a hard thing to admit.
But I know I’m not the only one.
That quiet voice shows up and says:
“What’s the point?”
“Who even cares?”
“You’re falling behind.”
“You’re not good enough.”
“You should’ve been further by now.”
But those whispers don’t come from Allah.
They come from exhaustion.
They come from Shaytan.
They come from a world that tells us our worth is in our output not our existence.
But here’s the truth I’m holding onto:
You are not valuable because of what you produce.
You are valuable because Allah created you with intention.
Your steps.
Your struggles.
Your voice.
Your silence.
They all count.
When you give up on yourself, it’s not just a pause.
It’s a deeper message.
It’s telling your soul:
“I’m not worth trying for.”
And that’s dangerous to believe.
Because when we stop showing up not for others, but for ourselves
we begin to drift.
We lose the softness of intention.
We forget what it feels like to be close to our Rabb.
But you don’t need to feel strong.
You don’t need to be perfect.
You just need to return.
Even if your hands are shaking.
Even if all you can say is “Help me, Ya Allah.”
As a Muslimah, I’ve had to learn:
we don’t show up to please people.
We don’t perform our journey.
We live it.
We walk it privately, quietly, sincerely.
We show up because we’re in need.
Because our soul is hungry.
Because we’re seeking closeness with the One who never abandons.
Some days, you’ll show up with light pouring out of you.
Other days, you’ll show up holding your heart together with du’a and hope.
Both days are valid.
Both are seen.
Both are acts of worship.
So if you’re in that place right now
the one where you’re questioning yourself,
thinking about quitting,
feeling like your small efforts aren’t enough
let me tell you something:
You are in process.
You are on the path.
You are still responding to Allah’s call.
And every step you take
no matter how quiet,
no matter how shaky
is witnessed.
Is rewarded.
Is loved.
So show up.
Show up for yourself.
Show up to remember who you are.
To remember whose you are.
Because giving up on yourself?
That’s not your story.
That’s not your ending.
Not today.
Not ever.
With Love always
Wahida
